FEAR and being FEARFUL damages your health, wealth and happiness.

FEAR

Fear is an extremely powerful emotion, and whilst there are adrenalin junkies out there who love the sensations that fear creates, for most of us it gives a constant and gnawing pain in the pit of the stomach.

Some people have reported that they drink more or smoke more because of it.

There have been incidents where some people are right on the edge of success and then they become fearful and as a result of this fearful state they sabotage their own efforts.

It [fear] has killed more dreams and ruined more careers than all other causes combined.

In fact it has been reported that fear may be the worst enemy of the human species. and yet it has been with us since the beginning of our time on earth. In The Bible, The Book of Genesis speaks of fear and it appears throughout The Bible, The Torah and The Koran. This can be confirmed by reading the line from the Old Testament, delivered by Job, when he said, "That which I feared most has come upon me."

And now, in 2010 it would seem that the older we get, the more prone we are to allowing fear to control our lives. I can recall several instances where people in their 30s and 40s reported being in fearful states simply walking through the streets of a sleepy Devon town in the early evening. These people reported that their fearfulness was brought on because of the high numbers of marauding teenagers.

Elderly people living in sheltered accommodation are sitting fearfully behind locked and bolted doors because they have bought into the belief that society is intrinsically bad, and that there are always people “out to get them”, to “do them harm”, and to “rob them of everything they have”

But these people are not alone. Fear is gripping and biting at more people's lives than ever before and that is the fear of financial security. We are still in the remains of the worst financial crisis of our lifetime record numbers of cases are being processed by the Bankruptcy Courts. Personal debt is rising because of increased prices, lack of available funds (loans etc) and mounting credit card bills.

The system is in tatters and even today (25th February 2010) having announced £3.5bn losses, the banking group RBS said that they would still be paying out over a billion pounds to their staff by way of bonus payments because “we are fearful that if we don't make these payments we will lose some key members of staff, in fact, some have already left the bank”

BUT attitudes can be changed, fear can be defeated, you can learn how to manage and master it. The world famous trainer and motivator Zig Ziglar said “courage is not the absence of fear, it is the mastery of it”

Fears impact on us physically, mentally and emotionally. They enhance our negative thinking and impair our normal perception, rationality and comprehension. They cause us to limit our expectations and to avoid taking undue risks or face complications. Although our fears are intended to be part of our survival instinct, they become a problem when they begin to interfere with our normal functioning, we can see their negative impacts on our results and our relationships.

Over the course of our lives we become so habitually accustomed to our fears that we may not even notice their presence in our consciousness. As we learn to ignore our fears by pushing them down deep into our subconscious, we develop strange habits and self-limiting behavior under the illusion of leading normal lives, without feeling impaired or uncomfortable. In other words, we learn how to rationalize (which is another way of saying we learn how to tell ourselves "rational lies")!

Do you find yourself with any of these conditions caused by fear, worry, doubt and anxiety:

Do you show reluctance to make important decisions and take calculated risks?
 
Are you constantly worried about what other people think about you and worried that they'll think less of you if you take certain actions (fear of rejection)?
 
Do you suffer from low self-esteem and constantly underestimate yourself and your ability?
 
Do you always remain within your comfort zone, unwilling to venture out and experience new things or meet new people?
 
Are you carrying around a gnawing feeling of impending doom?
 
Do you exhibit irrational behavior (any kind of binge, ie., shopping, eating, drinking) followed by dark and gloomy guilt?
 
Would you prefer to stay in the same job or in the same unhappy relationship even if they are bankrupting you emotionally?
 
Do you avoid deep communications with others for fear of exposing your weaknesses?
 
Do you avoid socializing or building friendships to minimize the chances of getting hurt or being exploited?
 
Do you hide your feelings and thoughts from other people because you fear disapproval from them?
 
Would you let things happen rather than takecontrol of them for fear of ridicule or criticism?
 
Do you expericence constant procrastination and overall lack of initiative?
 
Do you undersell yourself due to a poor opinion and / or low expectation of yourself?
 
Do you experience physical symptoms like physical and mental tension, knot in the stomach, sweating, sleeplessness, indigestion or increased blood pressure, among others?

Fear is the cause of many of our mental and physical diseases, ranging from phobias to asthma, high blood pressure, strokes and nervous conditions. Fear-filled words have the power to destroy, tear down, discourage, depress, malign, and even call into being death and disease.

If it remains unchecked, fear (and all its cousins) will keep you in a state of discouragement, frustration and denial.  In it's worst state it can destroy your business or career, your marriage, your health and your happiness.

Fear, doubt and worries are constant problems for many people even during the best of economic times.  But now, with the biggest financial catastrophe since the Great Depression affecting many people, fear and worry have reached epidemic proportions.

Now, I would ask you whether you experience any of these limiting beliefs

Lack of time - this is NOT A TRUE STATEMENT because “time” is a man made concept “There is no time in infinity, time does not exist in eternity”

I work better under pressure – NOT TRUE because allowing yourself to be “under pressure” can encourage mistakes and errors, it would be better to say that “I work best when I give myself ample time”

If I say NO people won't like or respect me – NOT TRUE in fact exactly the opposite is correct. If you say NO people will respect you for admitting that you are not super human. Also, if you say NO to some things you are then able to say YES to the most important things. The word “NO” gives you freedom and is one of the most important words we ever learn.

Anything worth doing is worth doing perfectly – NOT TRUE it is a limiting belief, far better to say “Anything worth doing is worth failing at until I get it right”

Holding limiting beliefs is a classic expression of fearfulness and therefore guarantees that you are not living the fullest life that you can live. You have a duty to yourself to overcome your fearfulness and master your fear.

And so finally, I am going to set you a challenge, and that challenge is to find and eliminate at least one limiting belief every 24 hours for the next week, identify what you think or say that is the limiting belief and then as in the examples above change your internal speech to the exact opposite.

Write down your limiting belief, followed by the new positive self talk that you are going to give yourself and if you can let me have your feedback.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Take care and remember

Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!

DAve