Self Discipline

Hi and I hope that you are having a ball creating a great life for yourself. During a conversation with Tom about the forthcoming Solution Based Thinking seminar tour that we are planning to start in Bournemouth (probably sometime during May) we were discussing the implications of Self Mastery.

As a result of this chat I decided that it would be a good topic to look at here and so I have prepared this piece on Self Discipline

What is self discipline?

It is the ability to control your behaviour, to motivate yourself to do the things you should be doing and not do things you shouldn't be doing. Willpower may be considered a part of it, but sometimes trying to "force" yourself to do something is counter productive and simply makes things worse. If we learn to associate negative feelings with an activity, it becomes more difficult to do, and we become less likely to do it.

There are many ways that are possible routes into self discipline, I have added a few here but I am sure that if you think carefully you will be able to find even more.

Make a Start

Suppose you are delaying doing your tax return. Do you feel stressed when you think about completing those forms? Then don't think about it! Once sufficient thought has been given to any project, more thought just creates more stress. The negative feelings that develop make it harder and harder to force yourself to do what needs to be done. You feel like you have no self discipline

Action is the cure for this. Start by putting the forms where you can work on them later. Later, gather all the materials and put them with the forms. The next day, do just one form, and then another.

Whatever the task is, you can find enough motivation for some small step. Train your mind to take that first step as soon as you think of it. The next steps, and so the whole project becomes easier once you start


Enjoy what you are doing.

If you have ever stopped up all night talking about something interesting, you know what power the mind has over the body. It is very easy to put off sleep when we are motivated by a passionate discussion. It doesn't take much willpower to keep doing something when you are enjoying it, and that gives us another key to self discipline.

When you enjoy what you are doing you are fired up and motivated. Willpower goes up and down with energy levels, so play energetic music, move around, laugh, and look for ways to enjoy whatever project you are working on. The more you associate good feelings with a task, the easier it is to discipline yourself to do it.

Reward yourself.

Cut a task up into a few steps, and then give yourself a reward every time you complete each step. This could be a tub of ice cream, watching your favourite tv programme, or simply relaxing for a few minutes. Reward yourself with a pat on the back too. When you recognize your successes, large and small, the possibilities become more real to you, and more likely to be repeated.

Become more aware of how you work.

Suppose that piece of cake calls to you, or that television takes your attention away from your more important work.

It can be hard to resist temptation! Stronger willpower is a nice theory, but there is a simpler solution: stop standing in front of the cake! Turn off the television!

This is an easy lesson to understand, but try to train yourself to apply it habitually. Don't keep beer in the house if you don't want to drink it. Don't go alone to single's bars if you want to maintain a faithful marriage. Stay away from people and things that have the potential to lead you into trouble!

Self discipline doesn't mean you have to become immune to temptation, but it does me that you must develop the willpower to say no, if you wish.

But whilst doing that, why not have the wisdom to avoid temptation? If you learn where your resistance is low, then you can avoid those situations with relative ease.
Doesn't this make more sense than fighting useless battles with yourself?

Fighting with yourself is no way to develop self discipline. It is far better to learn about yourself; how are you energized; what motivates you and what are your strengths and weaknesses?

Why not learn about yourself, and start using what you learn to make the behaviours you want to develop easier. That is smarter self discipline.

(This piece is adapted from a paper by Steve Gilman)

So all that remains is to say to you all thanks for reading this, keep you eyes open for what is happening via my various groups on Facebook and Twitter and take a look at the Because Someone Cares website for our Foundation information.

Take care and remember

Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!

DAve