During recent weeks the Altered Image Foundation has undergone a few changes. Several new projects have been incorporated into the Foundation so I thought it best to list them all on here as an update....
1) The AIMS Project - the pioneering project that began the Altered Image Foundation, this project is working towards the provision of musical instruments and training in their use for Bulgarian youngsters.
2) Because Someone Cares - a project aimed at making a difference to people's lives by the use of small gestures and gifts distributed around the community.
Click here to visit the Because Someone Cares website
3) Ilfracombe Community Nurses - a project designed to support these valuable members of the Community Medical team by providing certain items of equipment that is not NHS funded
4) Oaktree Children's Nursery - the foundation provides up to £150 worth of support each year by way of donating raffle prizes.
5) Rowcroft Hospice, Torbay - financial donation made in 2009 but more hands on support being planned for 2010
6) Toy Appeal - starting January 2010 the purpose of this appeal is to provide toys for terminally ill children.
This in brief is the current list of projects supported by the Altered Image Foundation, this list will be growing during 2010 as I hope will the number of people who care.
So have a fantastic Christmas and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Tuesday 22 December 2009
Wednesday 9 December 2009
Pathways to Change (Part 3) Strategy
Part 1 of Pathways to Change concerned itself with Knowing Your Purpose, it dealt with identifying what you were about, “moving from one place to another, always requires a "purpose"” therefore by definition change requires purpose.
Part 2 of the Pathways to Change series looked at the desired outcome – it is simply Knowing What You Want.
Now in Part 3, having clarified the Purpose and the Outcome, we need to look at how we get there, the STRATEGY. The strategy is the plan of action and details how we intend to reach our desired outcome.
For example, if we look at the example used in the first part we considered a shopping trip with a purpose of being therapeutic; the outcome was to enjoy a feel good state, possibly to buy some much needed items for the wardrobe etc. So now we need to create the Strategy to make this happen.
This planning process will probably include many actions, some of which can be considered automatic and others specifically allocated to the task in hand, for example :-
Pre planning
Identify the day
Identify the place
Identify travel method
Identify the budget
Micro Planning
Time to get up on day
What to wear on day
What to eat on day
Time to leave house
Money for travel
Fuel for car / Ticket for train or route to walk
This list is by no means fully comprehensive and does not take into account all the decisions involved in the process but it does provide an indication of the steps required to achieve the desired outcome.
Now to illustrate the point about having an effective strategy I would like to tell you a short story about a person who decided that he wanted to see a spectacular sunset. He boldly proclaimed “that’s it, I am off to find the most spectacular sunset in the world and when I have found it I am going to photograph it and bring the pictures back to show you”
He knew what his purpose was – find the most spectacular sunset in the world
He knew what his outcome was – photograph it and bring the picture back to show it off
So what did he do next?
Well, he set off walking and kept walking for days and days, the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years but he never came across the most spectacular sunset in the world.
The one thing he got wrong was his strategy – throughout the time he was walking he never once realized that he was always heading East and as every schoolboy or girl knows the sun always sets in the West so he was never ever going to find his sunset.
This brings to a close the Pathways to Change series, I hope that you have found it interesting and that you will put these three lessons into practice whenever you want to make a change to your life.
It will probably be January before I publish the next entry on here, so let me wish you the Compliments of the season, have a great Christmas and New Year, take care and remember
Don’t predict the future – CREATE IT!
DAve
Part 2 of the Pathways to Change series looked at the desired outcome – it is simply Knowing What You Want.
Now in Part 3, having clarified the Purpose and the Outcome, we need to look at how we get there, the STRATEGY. The strategy is the plan of action and details how we intend to reach our desired outcome.
For example, if we look at the example used in the first part we considered a shopping trip with a purpose of being therapeutic; the outcome was to enjoy a feel good state, possibly to buy some much needed items for the wardrobe etc. So now we need to create the Strategy to make this happen.
This planning process will probably include many actions, some of which can be considered automatic and others specifically allocated to the task in hand, for example :-
Pre planning
Identify the day
Identify the place
Identify travel method
Identify the budget
Micro Planning
Time to get up on day
What to wear on day
What to eat on day
Time to leave house
Money for travel
Fuel for car / Ticket for train or route to walk
This list is by no means fully comprehensive and does not take into account all the decisions involved in the process but it does provide an indication of the steps required to achieve the desired outcome.
Now to illustrate the point about having an effective strategy I would like to tell you a short story about a person who decided that he wanted to see a spectacular sunset. He boldly proclaimed “that’s it, I am off to find the most spectacular sunset in the world and when I have found it I am going to photograph it and bring the pictures back to show you”
He knew what his purpose was – find the most spectacular sunset in the world
He knew what his outcome was – photograph it and bring the picture back to show it off
So what did he do next?
Well, he set off walking and kept walking for days and days, the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years but he never came across the most spectacular sunset in the world.
The one thing he got wrong was his strategy – throughout the time he was walking he never once realized that he was always heading East and as every schoolboy or girl knows the sun always sets in the West so he was never ever going to find his sunset.
This brings to a close the Pathways to Change series, I hope that you have found it interesting and that you will put these three lessons into practice whenever you want to make a change to your life.
It will probably be January before I publish the next entry on here, so let me wish you the Compliments of the season, have a great Christmas and New Year, take care and remember
Don’t predict the future – CREATE IT!
DAve
Wednesday 25 November 2009
The Latest Developments
Hi and I hope that you are all creating the most fantastic day for yourselves.
Life in the world of Altered Image is a little hectic at present, with new projects, new clients and planning for 2010 all happening at once.
So I decided that I would write this update to crystallise some of the things that are happening.
The most exciting thing is the coming together of various projects to form The Altered Image Foundation. So far the Foundation is working with 4 projects - the AIMS Project in Bulgaria, Support Community Nurses, The Oak Tree Nursery and Because Someone Cares.
I would love you to take a look at the Foundation's website www.because-someone-cares.webs.com, have a read through the pages, sign the Guestbook and most of all get involved.
As time goes on I will be adding a Blog and a resource page to the site and providing enough people express an interest in joining and working with the Foundation I will look to making this a charitable organisation at some point in 2010.
2010 brings me to another matter - the announcement of some of the plans I have for the forthcoming year.
As the winter days are with us, I have turned my attention to next year and what I could do to build the brand Altered Image still further...... sadly the promotional clothing range had to be discontinued temporarily because of the closure of the supplier.
However I have decided that the way forward involves getting out there and meeting more and more people, so to that end I am spending the winter months putting together a series of workshops with a difference.
The major difference this year will be that the workshops will be provided to members of the Altered Image Facebook group, at no charge - yes that is quite correct, zero charge to group members, but non-members will have to pay approx £10 per workshop,to take part.
The second difference for 2010 is that I am providing a list of topics and members who wish to put on any or all of these, can book our services as presenters - so if you want to do say a fundraiser for the local school then decide how many people you want to attend, book your venue, set your charge at £10 plus / head, and invite them along.
You can select from any of the following -
Introduction to Change (Positive Change / Combat Cravings)
Introduction to Goal Setting
Positive steps to Personal Confidence
Positive steps to weight loss
Positive steps to stopping smoking
Positive steps to improving Work / Life Balance
Dance Therapy (to be confirmed)
Play Therapy (to be confirmed)
Hypno Therapy (to be confirmed)
Healing workshop
Introduction to Meditation
To check available dates and to book these workshops simply give me a call
Until the next time
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Life in the world of Altered Image is a little hectic at present, with new projects, new clients and planning for 2010 all happening at once.
So I decided that I would write this update to crystallise some of the things that are happening.
The most exciting thing is the coming together of various projects to form The Altered Image Foundation. So far the Foundation is working with 4 projects - the AIMS Project in Bulgaria, Support Community Nurses, The Oak Tree Nursery and Because Someone Cares.
I would love you to take a look at the Foundation's website www.because-someone-cares.webs.com, have a read through the pages, sign the Guestbook and most of all get involved.
As time goes on I will be adding a Blog and a resource page to the site and providing enough people express an interest in joining and working with the Foundation I will look to making this a charitable organisation at some point in 2010.
2010 brings me to another matter - the announcement of some of the plans I have for the forthcoming year.
As the winter days are with us, I have turned my attention to next year and what I could do to build the brand Altered Image still further...... sadly the promotional clothing range had to be discontinued temporarily because of the closure of the supplier.
However I have decided that the way forward involves getting out there and meeting more and more people, so to that end I am spending the winter months putting together a series of workshops with a difference.
The major difference this year will be that the workshops will be provided to members of the Altered Image Facebook group, at no charge - yes that is quite correct, zero charge to group members, but non-members will have to pay approx £10 per workshop,to take part.
The second difference for 2010 is that I am providing a list of topics and members who wish to put on any or all of these, can book our services as presenters - so if you want to do say a fundraiser for the local school then decide how many people you want to attend, book your venue, set your charge at £10 plus / head, and invite them along.
You can select from any of the following -
Introduction to Change (Positive Change / Combat Cravings)
Introduction to Goal Setting
Positive steps to Personal Confidence
Positive steps to weight loss
Positive steps to stopping smoking
Positive steps to improving Work / Life Balance
Dance Therapy (to be confirmed)
Play Therapy (to be confirmed)
Hypno Therapy (to be confirmed)
Healing workshop
Introduction to Meditation
To check available dates and to book these workshops simply give me a call
Until the next time
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Tuesday 10 November 2009
A Quick Tip
Hi here is a quick tip
If you are lying in bed, trying to get to sleep and thoughts and images keep popping into your head and you can't seem to get rid of them with this tip you will be able to get them under control.
Instead of tossing and turning or huffing and puffing, do something about it - as each image pops up imagine that you are seeing it on a computer screen, reach forward and turn it off. See the images disappear!
When the next one appears do exactly the same process and take note of how much calmer and relaxed you are becoming as each one gets turned off.
If you are troubled by a persistent image recurring over and over again, imagine that you are again watching it on a computer screen but now press the delete button on the keyboard, whilst saying to yourself "delete that program"
Once you have deleted all these stray images and thoughts you should find yourself far more relaxed and able to enjoy a good night's sleep.
That's the end of this quick tip.
Have a great day and take care of yourself.
Until the next time remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
If you are lying in bed, trying to get to sleep and thoughts and images keep popping into your head and you can't seem to get rid of them with this tip you will be able to get them under control.
Instead of tossing and turning or huffing and puffing, do something about it - as each image pops up imagine that you are seeing it on a computer screen, reach forward and turn it off. See the images disappear!
When the next one appears do exactly the same process and take note of how much calmer and relaxed you are becoming as each one gets turned off.
If you are troubled by a persistent image recurring over and over again, imagine that you are again watching it on a computer screen but now press the delete button on the keyboard, whilst saying to yourself "delete that program"
Once you have deleted all these stray images and thoughts you should find yourself far more relaxed and able to enjoy a good night's sleep.
That's the end of this quick tip.
Have a great day and take care of yourself.
Until the next time remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Friday 6 November 2009
The Spheres Technique
Hi
I was planning to make this week's post a new video on Positive Reinforcement but because of a) a cold and b) a weekend away to the North West I decided to postpone that until I feel better able to talk to you on camera.
So I was then left with a dilemma, what to post? The thing that jumped out at me was a technique I have been researching called The Spheres Technique.
In its most basic form The Spheres Technique is a very simple process for gaining clarity of thought and can be used in many areas of life.
An example of their use is as follows -
1. Draw 3 circles on a blank sheet of paper
2. In sphere 1 write the following question "Where am I spiritualy?"
3. In sphere 2 write the following question "Where am I in my family life?"
4. In sphere 3 write the following question "Where am I in my career?"
Now look back at the sphere 1 question - and begin to answer the question, you may feel that you are totally focussed on your spiritual existence and you could well score that as an 8 or a 9 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
Now look at the sphere 2 question - begin to answer that using the same scoring process. You may find that family rates as a 5 or 6
Finally consider the sphere 3 question - answer that, again using the same scoring process you could rate your career as a 2 or 3
Therefore as can be easily seen from these possible answers this person would have a great spiritualy personality, have a moderate or mediocre family life and hate their job - does that suggest any possible actions our subject should consider?
The aim then is to take whatever actions are necessary to bring The Spheres into balance and in order to do this you would need to ask yourself questions and answer in total honesty. An example of a question would be
"What positive action must I take to bring my family score closer to my spiritual one?"
AND
"What positive action must I take to bring my career score closer to my spiritual one?"
Having identified the actions you can take, the next question is "What must I do to make those things happen?"
Then having identified that, you can put together an "Action Plan" that will, if followed carefully bring about a more balanced state of being.
The Spheres Technique can also be useful if you are considering starting a new business as it can help you identify your particular strengths and help you make informed choices regarding which way you concentrate your efforts
The technique is basically the same you start with the 3 circles and 3 questions but in this case they could be
1. What can I be great at?
2. What will the world pay for?
3. What do I have to do?
As you will see here, there is a slight difference in the way the questions work, they lead from the first to the second and then from the second to the third.
What can I be great at? - may lead you to kick boxing, knot tying, driving, graphic design etc
What will the world pay for? - could lead you to eliminate knot tying and kick boxing for example
This will leave driving and graphic design remaining - so you would therefore ask "What do I have to do?" to enable you to see what needs to be done to move forwards in the direction of your possible new business. It may also help you identify which options you are able to follow and which are "non-starters"
So there are 2 possible uses of The Spheres Technique, maybe there are more, I have heard of people using 5 spheres, but as yet have not found the questions they ask. If I do manage to get this information I will add it as a post script to this entry.
Have a fantastic day, take care, speak soon and most of all remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
I was planning to make this week's post a new video on Positive Reinforcement but because of a) a cold and b) a weekend away to the North West I decided to postpone that until I feel better able to talk to you on camera.
So I was then left with a dilemma, what to post? The thing that jumped out at me was a technique I have been researching called The Spheres Technique.
In its most basic form The Spheres Technique is a very simple process for gaining clarity of thought and can be used in many areas of life.
An example of their use is as follows -
1. Draw 3 circles on a blank sheet of paper
2. In sphere 1 write the following question "Where am I spiritualy?"
3. In sphere 2 write the following question "Where am I in my family life?"
4. In sphere 3 write the following question "Where am I in my career?"
Now look back at the sphere 1 question - and begin to answer the question, you may feel that you are totally focussed on your spiritual existence and you could well score that as an 8 or a 9 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
Now look at the sphere 2 question - begin to answer that using the same scoring process. You may find that family rates as a 5 or 6
Finally consider the sphere 3 question - answer that, again using the same scoring process you could rate your career as a 2 or 3
Therefore as can be easily seen from these possible answers this person would have a great spiritualy personality, have a moderate or mediocre family life and hate their job - does that suggest any possible actions our subject should consider?
The aim then is to take whatever actions are necessary to bring The Spheres into balance and in order to do this you would need to ask yourself questions and answer in total honesty. An example of a question would be
"What positive action must I take to bring my family score closer to my spiritual one?"
AND
"What positive action must I take to bring my career score closer to my spiritual one?"
Having identified the actions you can take, the next question is "What must I do to make those things happen?"
Then having identified that, you can put together an "Action Plan" that will, if followed carefully bring about a more balanced state of being.
The Spheres Technique can also be useful if you are considering starting a new business as it can help you identify your particular strengths and help you make informed choices regarding which way you concentrate your efforts
The technique is basically the same you start with the 3 circles and 3 questions but in this case they could be
1. What can I be great at?
2. What will the world pay for?
3. What do I have to do?
As you will see here, there is a slight difference in the way the questions work, they lead from the first to the second and then from the second to the third.
What can I be great at? - may lead you to kick boxing, knot tying, driving, graphic design etc
What will the world pay for? - could lead you to eliminate knot tying and kick boxing for example
This will leave driving and graphic design remaining - so you would therefore ask "What do I have to do?" to enable you to see what needs to be done to move forwards in the direction of your possible new business. It may also help you identify which options you are able to follow and which are "non-starters"
So there are 2 possible uses of The Spheres Technique, maybe there are more, I have heard of people using 5 spheres, but as yet have not found the questions they ask. If I do manage to get this information I will add it as a post script to this entry.
Have a fantastic day, take care, speak soon and most of all remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
Tuesday 27 October 2009
Positive Re-enforcement
Hi
Over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking and looking at the above topic and have discovered that it is the exact opposite of and yet complements the Combat Change video post exceedingly well.
Because I am soon to record a new video on this topic I have decided that I want this post to support the video. It would be pointless to write the post "on topic" and then replicate the very same material in the video, so because I am flying by wire here I hope that the result is not verbal carnage.
As in the Combat Cravings film, I will explain the technique involved to achieve the state of Positive Re-enforcement and why it is used.
The technique is however, self standing and can therefore be used on its own to give yourself an quick boost of confidence during "low periods" and, it is a valuable tool to add to your "toolkit" to be used as a quick method to change your state.
Changing your state can cause your present situation to take on an entirely different perspective and allow you to tackle the process of change (see earlier post) more effectively.
So now I will move away from the topic of Positive Re-enforcement and concentrate the second half of this post on a small news item.
Under the banner of The Big Blue Sky Company, Tom Armstrong and Dave Baxter are currently researching their first collaborative foray into the litereary world. It is a journey into the realms of personal self discovery and draws heavily on respected global teachings dating back thousands of years.
Although it is very early days I believe that foundations have been laid that challenge the fundamental tenets of current global beliefs and that this book will encourage the reader to do more than just think outside the box, but to become the box for himself or herself.
Tom and Dave are experienced coaches and are both teachers in the fields of entertainment and Personal Development. They have been friends for some 10 or so years and during that time they have worked together on many projects, some of which have been live performances and some have been educational workshops. So to take this collaboration to another level with the work on the new book is an exciting and rewarding project.
So for now I will say just one thing
Have a fantastic day and evening and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking and looking at the above topic and have discovered that it is the exact opposite of and yet complements the Combat Change video post exceedingly well.
Because I am soon to record a new video on this topic I have decided that I want this post to support the video. It would be pointless to write the post "on topic" and then replicate the very same material in the video, so because I am flying by wire here I hope that the result is not verbal carnage.
As in the Combat Cravings film, I will explain the technique involved to achieve the state of Positive Re-enforcement and why it is used.
The technique is however, self standing and can therefore be used on its own to give yourself an quick boost of confidence during "low periods" and, it is a valuable tool to add to your "toolkit" to be used as a quick method to change your state.
Changing your state can cause your present situation to take on an entirely different perspective and allow you to tackle the process of change (see earlier post) more effectively.
So now I will move away from the topic of Positive Re-enforcement and concentrate the second half of this post on a small news item.
Under the banner of The Big Blue Sky Company, Tom Armstrong and Dave Baxter are currently researching their first collaborative foray into the litereary world. It is a journey into the realms of personal self discovery and draws heavily on respected global teachings dating back thousands of years.
Although it is very early days I believe that foundations have been laid that challenge the fundamental tenets of current global beliefs and that this book will encourage the reader to do more than just think outside the box, but to become the box for himself or herself.
Tom and Dave are experienced coaches and are both teachers in the fields of entertainment and Personal Development. They have been friends for some 10 or so years and during that time they have worked together on many projects, some of which have been live performances and some have been educational workshops. So to take this collaboration to another level with the work on the new book is an exciting and rewarding project.
So for now I will say just one thing
Have a fantastic day and evening and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Monday 12 October 2009
Pathway to Change (Part 2) Outcome
In Part 1 of Pathway to Change we discussed "Purpose" as an important part of the change process. This week we will consider the "Outcome" of the process.
Outcome is Knowing What You Want. It is very difficult to achieve what you want if you have not identified what it is. Ask yourself "What is my outcome in this situation?" instead of asking "What should I do?"
If you ask what you should do you are most likely to end up with a whole list of things to do. As you do these things and you delete them off your list, you are not necessarily going to be achieving anything that matters. However, if you ask "what is my outcome" you can decide what you need to do to achieve your required outcome.
It is probably a good thing to make a habit of asking the "What is my outcome" question. If you are in the middle of a conversation that seems to be going nowhere in particular, ask yourself what outcome you want - do you want to learn, influence, connect?
Once you have clarity about what the target of the conversation is there will be a shift in your behaviour. You will change your approach to get what you desire from the conversation.
The clearer you are about what you want the more you can succeed - CLARITY IS POWER.
In order to illustrate this let us consider the example of a guided missile - it is launched with a specific purpose to seek out and destroy, the outcome will be the destruction of the target. Prior to launch the missile is aimed at the target. Once airborne it will seek out and lock on to its target. Wherever and whenever the target moves the missile will follow and ultimately the target will be destroyed.
The brain is similar to the missile - when you decide exactly what you want you will tune in to and pick up all relevant information that you would not normally notice in every day life. Your brain will work to "lock onto" your target and make whatever moves are necessary to enable you to hit that target.
Ask yourself this question. If you are considering buying a new car, and you know what model and colour you want, how many times do you see examples of that car? Have they suddenly appeared? - NO they were there all the time, it is simply that you have identified that as a target, your brain has locked on to that target and is now providing you with all relevant information about that target.
This brings us to the end of this section on the Pathway to Change. In the next part we will look at the Strategy that we need to put into place and the ways to achieve the required change.
Have a great day and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Outcome is Knowing What You Want. It is very difficult to achieve what you want if you have not identified what it is. Ask yourself "What is my outcome in this situation?" instead of asking "What should I do?"
If you ask what you should do you are most likely to end up with a whole list of things to do. As you do these things and you delete them off your list, you are not necessarily going to be achieving anything that matters. However, if you ask "what is my outcome" you can decide what you need to do to achieve your required outcome.
It is probably a good thing to make a habit of asking the "What is my outcome" question. If you are in the middle of a conversation that seems to be going nowhere in particular, ask yourself what outcome you want - do you want to learn, influence, connect?
Once you have clarity about what the target of the conversation is there will be a shift in your behaviour. You will change your approach to get what you desire from the conversation.
The clearer you are about what you want the more you can succeed - CLARITY IS POWER.
In order to illustrate this let us consider the example of a guided missile - it is launched with a specific purpose to seek out and destroy, the outcome will be the destruction of the target. Prior to launch the missile is aimed at the target. Once airborne it will seek out and lock on to its target. Wherever and whenever the target moves the missile will follow and ultimately the target will be destroyed.
The brain is similar to the missile - when you decide exactly what you want you will tune in to and pick up all relevant information that you would not normally notice in every day life. Your brain will work to "lock onto" your target and make whatever moves are necessary to enable you to hit that target.
Ask yourself this question. If you are considering buying a new car, and you know what model and colour you want, how many times do you see examples of that car? Have they suddenly appeared? - NO they were there all the time, it is simply that you have identified that as a target, your brain has locked on to that target and is now providing you with all relevant information about that target.
This brings us to the end of this section on the Pathway to Change. In the next part we will look at the Strategy that we need to put into place and the ways to achieve the required change.
Have a great day and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Sunday 11 October 2009
Combat Cravings
A new video aimed at helping to combat cravings whilst trying to alter eating patterns.
This video whilst not particularly pleasant sets out to assist the process of combating cravings for certain foods whilst trying to establish sensible eating patterns.
Although concentrating on chocolate in this video, the technique (which draws heavily on NLP methodology) can be used for other foodstuffs - chips, cake, sweets etc. by simply swapping the image around.
I hope it proves useful and feel free to take a look at the Altered Image website at www.alteredimage2.co.uk
Have a great day
DAve
This video whilst not particularly pleasant sets out to assist the process of combating cravings for certain foods whilst trying to establish sensible eating patterns.
Although concentrating on chocolate in this video, the technique (which draws heavily on NLP methodology) can be used for other foodstuffs - chips, cake, sweets etc. by simply swapping the image around.
I hope it proves useful and feel free to take a look at the Altered Image website at www.alteredimage2.co.uk
Have a great day
DAve
Wednesday 7 October 2009
October 7th 2009 Update
Hi to everyone who is reading this.
We have just returned from an absolutely wonderful week in Bulgaria, during which time Alison and I considered the various businesses we run and decided what we need to do to push them forward to the next level. It was a time for clarity of thought and here are the results -
1. Altered Image - continues to go "on the road" but also expands into research about and work with people with Phobia problems.
2. The Big Blue Sky Company - continues to develop its Introductions to Innovation course
3. Coaching Radio - the launch of the Internet station is deferred until the PODCAST side is working properly
4. Changing Times - investigations are now under way to broaden the geographical centre of operation and we intend to look at ways to develop and promote in Exeter and Taunton alongside North Devon.
5. Candar Care - is operating nicely and has just gained another client.
6. Lunar-c Productions - the entertainment and media company is actively seeking new clients and we plan to create more openings for commercial photography during the coming months.
7. AIMS Project - the music foundation has now identified the areas in which it proposes to set up its activity. There are 2 city schools in Sofia both of which I intend to approach with a proposal that AIMS gets involved with their music tuition. The initial plan being an offer to purchase and deliver a selection of musical instruments. If the offer is accepted the first of these will be delivered in March / April 2010 when Alison and I visit Bulgaria again.
If anyone would like to become involved with the AIMS Project then please check out the details by visiting our website www.alteredimage2.co.uk and clicking on the Silver button marked AIMS project.
So there are major changes under way, the new website is practically ready and I am so excited about that and with the AIMS developments on the horizon in Bulgaria these are truly wonderful times.
Keep an eye out for information about the launch of the PODCASTS very soon.
So for now I will sign off with a very important quotation that came from one of my own personal sources of inspiration and aspiration Tony Robbins and he says
"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich."
Until the next time remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT
Take care and have fun
DAve
PS I need MORE followers, just sign up as one, it doesn't hurt, and you might just enjoy reading the blog pages earlier than others.
D.
We have just returned from an absolutely wonderful week in Bulgaria, during which time Alison and I considered the various businesses we run and decided what we need to do to push them forward to the next level. It was a time for clarity of thought and here are the results -
1. Altered Image - continues to go "on the road" but also expands into research about and work with people with Phobia problems.
2. The Big Blue Sky Company - continues to develop its Introductions to Innovation course
3. Coaching Radio - the launch of the Internet station is deferred until the PODCAST side is working properly
4. Changing Times - investigations are now under way to broaden the geographical centre of operation and we intend to look at ways to develop and promote in Exeter and Taunton alongside North Devon.
5. Candar Care - is operating nicely and has just gained another client.
6. Lunar-c Productions - the entertainment and media company is actively seeking new clients and we plan to create more openings for commercial photography during the coming months.
7. AIMS Project - the music foundation has now identified the areas in which it proposes to set up its activity. There are 2 city schools in Sofia both of which I intend to approach with a proposal that AIMS gets involved with their music tuition. The initial plan being an offer to purchase and deliver a selection of musical instruments. If the offer is accepted the first of these will be delivered in March / April 2010 when Alison and I visit Bulgaria again.
If anyone would like to become involved with the AIMS Project then please check out the details by visiting our website www.alteredimage2.co.uk and clicking on the Silver button marked AIMS project.
So there are major changes under way, the new website is practically ready and I am so excited about that and with the AIMS developments on the horizon in Bulgaria these are truly wonderful times.
Keep an eye out for information about the launch of the PODCASTS very soon.
So for now I will sign off with a very important quotation that came from one of my own personal sources of inspiration and aspiration Tony Robbins and he says
"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich."
Until the next time remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT
Take care and have fun
DAve
PS I need MORE followers, just sign up as one, it doesn't hurt, and you might just enjoy reading the blog pages earlier than others.
D.
Thursday 24 September 2009
Pathway to Change (part 1) Purpose.
We all know that whenever we set out on journey there has to be a reason to make that journey. Even if it is your intention to travel round in circles and go nowhere in particular then that is what you must set out to do.
But generally speaking it is pointless to just get into you car, get onto your bike or set off walking because doing that will mean never arriving.
Let us say that we intend to go and visit a friend in London on Saturday next now we are getting somewhere.
We now have a reason to make the journey - the journey has a "purpose" and because we have now given ourselves this reason we are well on course to make it happen.
BUT this is not the only example of purpose...........
We may decide that we want to "spend some money" just because we feel like it - what is our "purpose" here?
Well it may be psychological - a lot of us (particularly those who are female) say that going shopping is a therapeutic activity however since this is a major generalisation I would also add that there are other women who say that they do not use the shopping experience as a mood lifter, preferring to only "shop" when in good spirits. I would also like to qualify that the term "shopping" in this context refers to an activity other than grocery shopping or heading out to purchase white goods or similar - but I digress from my discussion.
It is on the basis of this that I offer a conclusion that in certain cases, the purpose for the activity of "shopping" is to provide therapy and to create the "feel good" factors as a way to achieve happiness or escape from drudgery or upset.
Secondly our purpose in "spending money" may be to purchase something that we feel will enhance or improve our life or lifestyle in some way. Therefore the purpose of the activity is to move forward from where we are.
On a totally different, physiological level even those actions that we consider automatic and unthinking, must follow the same rule of purpose -
Consider breathing. The purpose is to intake in air to oxygenate our blood and to exhale carbon dioxide from our bodies.
Consider our heart beating. This is something we never think about, but its purpose is to pump the blood supply round our bodies
So in summary, moving from one place to another, always requires a "purpose" and it is just the same with making changes in our lives
Change = Movement and therefore Change requires PURPOSE
I hope that you have enjoyed this first part of the Pathway to Change programme and that you will keep an eye open for the next part in a couple of weeks.
Until then
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
Have fun
DAve
But generally speaking it is pointless to just get into you car, get onto your bike or set off walking because doing that will mean never arriving.
Let us say that we intend to go and visit a friend in London on Saturday next now we are getting somewhere.
We now have a reason to make the journey - the journey has a "purpose" and because we have now given ourselves this reason we are well on course to make it happen.
BUT this is not the only example of purpose...........
We may decide that we want to "spend some money" just because we feel like it - what is our "purpose" here?
Well it may be psychological - a lot of us (particularly those who are female) say that going shopping is a therapeutic activity however since this is a major generalisation I would also add that there are other women who say that they do not use the shopping experience as a mood lifter, preferring to only "shop" when in good spirits. I would also like to qualify that the term "shopping" in this context refers to an activity other than grocery shopping or heading out to purchase white goods or similar - but I digress from my discussion.
It is on the basis of this that I offer a conclusion that in certain cases, the purpose for the activity of "shopping" is to provide therapy and to create the "feel good" factors as a way to achieve happiness or escape from drudgery or upset.
Secondly our purpose in "spending money" may be to purchase something that we feel will enhance or improve our life or lifestyle in some way. Therefore the purpose of the activity is to move forward from where we are.
On a totally different, physiological level even those actions that we consider automatic and unthinking, must follow the same rule of purpose -
Consider breathing. The purpose is to intake in air to oxygenate our blood and to exhale carbon dioxide from our bodies.
Consider our heart beating. This is something we never think about, but its purpose is to pump the blood supply round our bodies
So in summary, moving from one place to another, always requires a "purpose" and it is just the same with making changes in our lives
Change = Movement and therefore Change requires PURPOSE
I hope that you have enjoyed this first part of the Pathway to Change programme and that you will keep an eye open for the next part in a couple of weeks.
Until then
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
Have fun
DAve
Saturday 5 September 2009
Wednesday 26 August 2009
Altered Image goes back "On The Road"
I have decided to change some of my methodology - so, instead of me planning workshops and then finding that numbers are not quite what I expected - I have decided to try a new approach.
From 1st October people can book me to come and speak to their group on various topics including - Confidence Building, Weight Loss, Goal Setting.
So have a think, get together a group of people (W.I. Knitting Circles, Friends, work colleagues etc etc etc) and then let's Make It Happen.
Obviously you will need to know what it will cost, so to enable you to organise an event of this type the price guides are
Weekend afternoon (up to 4 hrs) £100,
Weekday evening (up to 2.5 hrs) £80
Full day sessions (please contact me for further details on this one)
All these are plus expenses (which may include a B+B depending on distance to your location).
Once a booking is made then it will be up to you to decide whether to throw it open to the General Public. If you want to make the event public please let me know and I will announce it on here, on Facebook, on Twitter and hopefully on the website.
Please remember that "you cannot make lasting changes to your life without altering your thinking and moving to a new level"
Take care and until next time we speak, have fun!
From 1st October people can book me to come and speak to their group on various topics including - Confidence Building, Weight Loss, Goal Setting.
So have a think, get together a group of people (W.I. Knitting Circles, Friends, work colleagues etc etc etc) and then let's Make It Happen.
Obviously you will need to know what it will cost, so to enable you to organise an event of this type the price guides are
Weekend afternoon (up to 4 hrs) £100,
Weekday evening (up to 2.5 hrs) £80
Full day sessions (please contact me for further details on this one)
All these are plus expenses (which may include a B+B depending on distance to your location).
Once a booking is made then it will be up to you to decide whether to throw it open to the General Public. If you want to make the event public please let me know and I will announce it on here, on Facebook, on Twitter and hopefully on the website.
Please remember that "you cannot make lasting changes to your life without altering your thinking and moving to a new level"
Take care and until next time we speak, have fun!
Wednesday 19 August 2009
Taking Massive Action
Hi and welcome to my Altered Image blog for today
I am prompted to write this today because of the inspirational message I selected for my Facebook pages - "You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind"
Taken literally a farmer looks at his 5 acre field then closes his eyes and imagines over and over and over again that it is ploughed. After several minutes he opens his eyes again and guess what has happened to the field? NOTHING, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA! It is still the same as it was before he closed his eyes.
The above illustration serves to demonstrate that postive thinking alone is simply not enough to get the job done. If our country gent wants to get his 5 acre field ploughed he must do several things to make it happen -
1. He must decide that he is going to get the field ploughed
2. Next he must commit to getting the field ploughed
3. He must resolve to get the field ploughed
and finally
4. He must take massive action to get it done.
So the decision to get the field ploughed is easy, but before it is going to happen the farmer has to move from simply having an idea or a thought into a state where this idea needs to become a MUST.
Without being a MUST the idea or notion stays in the realms of "should" and will never get done. Taking the step of making the idea a MUSY moves the farmer into a state of commitment.
Now having committed to getting the field ploughed he has to move up another gear, he needs to resolve to get this task done. This move will require an altering of his present state to one of
"come hell or high water that field is going to get ploughed on Monday"
At this time our farmer is now well on the way to getting his field ploughed, he is in a state of "MOMENTUM". However, there is one more thing that must be achieved before he takes his action, he needs to work out his "STRATEGY" - he has to ensure that
a) he has a plough
b) all the blades are attached
c) he has fuel in the tractor to make it run
d) where he is going to start to plough
3) in which direction he is going to plough (because he needs to create a series of straight furrows)
Finally, he needs to take his Massive Action.
In this case taking that action probably means our farmer having an early night, then getting up very early on Monday morning.
Irrespective of what the weather is doing he needs to get out there onto that tractor and plough that field, because that is the only way it will be done.
Now I know that this example may seem over simplistic but the processes are exactly the same no matter what we set out to do, It might be going to the shop for the weekly shop, or we might intend to build a skyscraper or we want to change our lives - to do any of these things and move from one position to another we have to take Massive Action.
So until the next time
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
I am prompted to write this today because of the inspirational message I selected for my Facebook pages - "You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind"
Taken literally a farmer looks at his 5 acre field then closes his eyes and imagines over and over and over again that it is ploughed. After several minutes he opens his eyes again and guess what has happened to the field? NOTHING, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA! It is still the same as it was before he closed his eyes.
The above illustration serves to demonstrate that postive thinking alone is simply not enough to get the job done. If our country gent wants to get his 5 acre field ploughed he must do several things to make it happen -
1. He must decide that he is going to get the field ploughed
2. Next he must commit to getting the field ploughed
3. He must resolve to get the field ploughed
and finally
4. He must take massive action to get it done.
So the decision to get the field ploughed is easy, but before it is going to happen the farmer has to move from simply having an idea or a thought into a state where this idea needs to become a MUST.
Without being a MUST the idea or notion stays in the realms of "should" and will never get done. Taking the step of making the idea a MUSY moves the farmer into a state of commitment.
Now having committed to getting the field ploughed he has to move up another gear, he needs to resolve to get this task done. This move will require an altering of his present state to one of
"come hell or high water that field is going to get ploughed on Monday"
At this time our farmer is now well on the way to getting his field ploughed, he is in a state of "MOMENTUM". However, there is one more thing that must be achieved before he takes his action, he needs to work out his "STRATEGY" - he has to ensure that
a) he has a plough
b) all the blades are attached
c) he has fuel in the tractor to make it run
d) where he is going to start to plough
3) in which direction he is going to plough (because he needs to create a series of straight furrows)
Finally, he needs to take his Massive Action.
In this case taking that action probably means our farmer having an early night, then getting up very early on Monday morning.
Irrespective of what the weather is doing he needs to get out there onto that tractor and plough that field, because that is the only way it will be done.
Now I know that this example may seem over simplistic but the processes are exactly the same no matter what we set out to do, It might be going to the shop for the weekly shop, or we might intend to build a skyscraper or we want to change our lives - to do any of these things and move from one position to another we have to take Massive Action.
So until the next time
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Monday 10 August 2009
Altered Image
Hi everyone
Thank you for joining me on this page - I will now tell you the reason for the urgency in this post
As the business name indicates, my particular objective for setting up and running Altered Image is to create lasting change be it personal or professional. To this end I carefully selected the website branding to generate a question........... ie alteredimage2 and changingtimes2 - those of you who have already made the connection will have asked the internal question alteredimage2 what? and changingtimes2 what?
Anyway, having had a very successful year working with new clients, writing and publishing the two books, It's My Life and It's My Life 2 combined with my ebook on Risk Assessment I have decided that there are distinct market places in which I want to be working and one of the reasons for this post is to elaborate more on this............
From this point forward I intend to refer to the business simply as Altered Image and I intend to restructure into 4 distinct areas of operation
1 - Personal Change Management, specialising in Confidence Issues, Work Life Balance and Goal Setting
2 - Business Change Management, specialising in Innovation planning, Goal Setting and creating a safety culture within the work place
3 - Artistic Performance Change Management, working with people within the entertainment industry on confidence issues, audition techniques, stage fright management
4 - Bereavement Change Management, helping clients adjust to the changes that naturally occur when a life partner dies, by guiding and assisting through all the legal and personal areas of change.
Whilst many of you reading this will have joined the group on Facebook, others will be following from Twitter but I am prompted to ask all of you the same question -
"Why did you join or why did you follow?" - some of you will have joined because you know me personally and have learned over the years of our friendship / relationship that there is a good chance that I know what I am talking about, and that I work hard to live the lifestyle I am teaching.
However there are those of you whom I do not know personally and it is you that I am about to address - AND I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS - I am prepared to "give away" an hour's worth of personal or business consultancy to the first 5 of you who email me and claim it!
There is a condition attached to this "gift" and that condition is this - to qualify and in order to prove that you are genuine, I need you to tell me in the email the 3rd word on the values section of the Charter page on the Altered Image website, OH! and I also need a minimum of two referrals in exchange for this hour of my time.
Once you have qualified I will contact you and arrange the details (business or personal work, date, time etc.) and we will take it from there.
So I am determined to make the changes necessary to ensure that the business continues to grow and look forward to hearing from you in the very near future with those emails.
Create a terrific day for yourself and remember, you are in charge of your own life, nobody else is!
DAve
PS. Qualification for the above offer is only available until 31st August 2009
D.
Thank you for joining me on this page - I will now tell you the reason for the urgency in this post
As the business name indicates, my particular objective for setting up and running Altered Image is to create lasting change be it personal or professional. To this end I carefully selected the website branding to generate a question........... ie alteredimage2 and changingtimes2 - those of you who have already made the connection will have asked the internal question alteredimage2 what? and changingtimes2 what?
Anyway, having had a very successful year working with new clients, writing and publishing the two books, It's My Life and It's My Life 2 combined with my ebook on Risk Assessment I have decided that there are distinct market places in which I want to be working and one of the reasons for this post is to elaborate more on this............
From this point forward I intend to refer to the business simply as Altered Image and I intend to restructure into 4 distinct areas of operation
1 - Personal Change Management, specialising in Confidence Issues, Work Life Balance and Goal Setting
2 - Business Change Management, specialising in Innovation planning, Goal Setting and creating a safety culture within the work place
3 - Artistic Performance Change Management, working with people within the entertainment industry on confidence issues, audition techniques, stage fright management
4 - Bereavement Change Management, helping clients adjust to the changes that naturally occur when a life partner dies, by guiding and assisting through all the legal and personal areas of change.
Whilst many of you reading this will have joined the group on Facebook, others will be following from Twitter but I am prompted to ask all of you the same question -
"Why did you join or why did you follow?" - some of you will have joined because you know me personally and have learned over the years of our friendship / relationship that there is a good chance that I know what I am talking about, and that I work hard to live the lifestyle I am teaching.
However there are those of you whom I do not know personally and it is you that I am about to address - AND I AM TOTALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS - I am prepared to "give away" an hour's worth of personal or business consultancy to the first 5 of you who email me and claim it!
There is a condition attached to this "gift" and that condition is this - to qualify and in order to prove that you are genuine, I need you to tell me in the email the 3rd word on the values section of the Charter page on the Altered Image website, OH! and I also need a minimum of two referrals in exchange for this hour of my time.
Once you have qualified I will contact you and arrange the details (business or personal work, date, time etc.) and we will take it from there.
So I am determined to make the changes necessary to ensure that the business continues to grow and look forward to hearing from you in the very near future with those emails.
Create a terrific day for yourself and remember, you are in charge of your own life, nobody else is!
DAve
PS. Qualification for the above offer is only available until 31st August 2009
D.
Wednesday 5 August 2009
The 5 Rules of Organisation
Hi I thought that this would be a useful stategy for those people who have trouble getting organised in their personal lives
5 Rules of Organization
In today’s world, it’s so easy to be overwhelmed by all our responsibilities. Being organized is a great way to keep stress levels low and stay on top of things.
Here are the 5 rules of getting, and staying, organized.
1. Write everything down. Whether you use a planner, a steno notebook, a plain old spiral notebook, your computer, or whatever, write everything down. Just because it’s written down doesn’t mean it has to get done.
But, if you write everything down, you don’t have to remember it anymore. Another key component of this is that your note-taking place has to be bound so you are not driven by a stack of loose papers.
2. Break projects down into manageable tasks. Be sure, in your planning, that you separate projects from tasks. A project is anything that requires more than one action to complete. Even changing a light bulb can be a project if you don’t know if you have light bulbs hiding in the laundry room. A task is a one action job. Projects are made up of these and these are what you fill your day with. Even homeschooling and ritual planning can be broken down this way.
3. Set aside time everyday to plan. Some people like to plan their day when they get up in the morning. Some people like to plan at night so they don’t have to think about it while they’re trying to sleep. The important thing is that you take time everyday to plan your activities.
4. Learn to use a calendar. Calendars aren’t just for birthdays, holidays, and doctor’s appointments. Anything that is date specific should be on your calendar. Are you planning a family celebration? Put it on the calendar. In charge of your company’s Annual Dinner? Put it on the calendar. Use the calendar for deadlines.
Set deadlines for your projects and put those on the calendar, too. You can also set milestones for your projects and put those on the calendar. Oh, and be sure to only use one calendar. I suggest that you could hang a desk-pad sized calendar on the wall and use it for everything.
5. Make a weekly appointment to check-up on yourself. It’s also important to set aside time each weekend to review what worked for you over the past week and plan what projects you need to tackle in the coming week.
Start by writing down everything you can think of that needs to be addressed. Next, check the calendar for any deadlines coming up, and add any related tasks to your list. Then, review your list and decide what needs to be addressed, and what can wait.
Finally, come up with a general plan of what you want to accomplish this week. Don’t feel overwhelmed from the start. Be confident that you are taking actions to improve.
You might want to start your organization process by writing some affirmations or meditating on what it means to be organized. As you start to get these little pesky thoughts out of your head and into your organizational system, you will feel better and be able to address the things that bug you.
Also, learn to trust your system. You have been trusting your memory for a long time, so it will take some practice for your brain to catch up and trust that you have included everything in your notebook. If you religiously write things down and review your lists at least once a day, your brain will eventually be able to let go and focus on bigger things.
So take care, enjoy working towards the new you and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
5 Rules of Organization
In today’s world, it’s so easy to be overwhelmed by all our responsibilities. Being organized is a great way to keep stress levels low and stay on top of things.
Here are the 5 rules of getting, and staying, organized.
1. Write everything down. Whether you use a planner, a steno notebook, a plain old spiral notebook, your computer, or whatever, write everything down. Just because it’s written down doesn’t mean it has to get done.
But, if you write everything down, you don’t have to remember it anymore. Another key component of this is that your note-taking place has to be bound so you are not driven by a stack of loose papers.
2. Break projects down into manageable tasks. Be sure, in your planning, that you separate projects from tasks. A project is anything that requires more than one action to complete. Even changing a light bulb can be a project if you don’t know if you have light bulbs hiding in the laundry room. A task is a one action job. Projects are made up of these and these are what you fill your day with. Even homeschooling and ritual planning can be broken down this way.
3. Set aside time everyday to plan. Some people like to plan their day when they get up in the morning. Some people like to plan at night so they don’t have to think about it while they’re trying to sleep. The important thing is that you take time everyday to plan your activities.
4. Learn to use a calendar. Calendars aren’t just for birthdays, holidays, and doctor’s appointments. Anything that is date specific should be on your calendar. Are you planning a family celebration? Put it on the calendar. In charge of your company’s Annual Dinner? Put it on the calendar. Use the calendar for deadlines.
Set deadlines for your projects and put those on the calendar, too. You can also set milestones for your projects and put those on the calendar. Oh, and be sure to only use one calendar. I suggest that you could hang a desk-pad sized calendar on the wall and use it for everything.
5. Make a weekly appointment to check-up on yourself. It’s also important to set aside time each weekend to review what worked for you over the past week and plan what projects you need to tackle in the coming week.
Start by writing down everything you can think of that needs to be addressed. Next, check the calendar for any deadlines coming up, and add any related tasks to your list. Then, review your list and decide what needs to be addressed, and what can wait.
Finally, come up with a general plan of what you want to accomplish this week. Don’t feel overwhelmed from the start. Be confident that you are taking actions to improve.
You might want to start your organization process by writing some affirmations or meditating on what it means to be organized. As you start to get these little pesky thoughts out of your head and into your organizational system, you will feel better and be able to address the things that bug you.
Also, learn to trust your system. You have been trusting your memory for a long time, so it will take some practice for your brain to catch up and trust that you have included everything in your notebook. If you religiously write things down and review your lists at least once a day, your brain will eventually be able to let go and focus on bigger things.
So take care, enjoy working towards the new you and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Wednesday 29 July 2009
New Website Launched
Hi we have just launched the Changing Times website please copy the details below into your brower to take a look
www.changingtimes2.co.uk
Thanks and remember Create Yourself a GREAT day!
DAve
www.changingtimes2.co.uk
Thanks and remember Create Yourself a GREAT day!
DAve
Wednesday 22 July 2009
Me / I Communicaton
How often have you had the sort of conversation where the simplest of statements gets totally misunderstood and the person you are talking to believes that they are being addressed in an authoritarian, dictatorial fashion, when the you, the speaker, simply wants them, the listener, o perform a relatively simple task?
For example
"You must take the dishes out of the dishwasher before going to bed tonight otherwise we won't have any clean crockery for breakfast" - this simple statement implies that it is an order or command whereas the person making the statement views it as an easy to follow request that the dishwasher be emptied before bedtime.
Wouldn't it be far easier, clearer and less threatening to say something along the lines of -
"Before we go to bed tonight would you take the dishers out of the dishwasher for me please, so that we can have clean crockery at breakfast time?"
To put it a different way - in order to gain another person's attention the first goal should be to avoid jumping down their throat and making them defensive. This can be achieved by the use of the Me / I technique instead of using the word "you" all the time.
Here are some phrases that are guaranteed to "get up the other person's nose"
You are really inconsiderate
You are so selfish
You are acting like a child
You know what your problem is?
You're always running away
The use of "you" language provokes defensiveness. Using a "you" statement puts the speaker into the role of both judge and jury - a position the other party will most likely find unacceptable.
The Me / I technique allows for the communication of feelings about the other person's behaviour without being judgemental. This technique will allow a normal conversation with the other person without ever having to fight again, and it stops arguing completely.
The Me / I technique has 4 distinct parts
It describes the other person's behaviour
It details your interpretation of it
It describes your feelings towards the behaviour
It describes the consequences the behviour is having upon you
Here is a worked example of the technique in action. For the purposes of illustration I will call speaker 1 Diane and speaker 2 Charlie
Diane says " You've been coming home late all week now without calling me once (behaviour). Are you trying to avoid me, or are you seeing someone else (interpretation)? I'm starting to feel unattractive (me) and unappreciated. I'm (me)really hurting inside (feeling). If this keeps up I'm(me) going to go crazy worrying about you(consequence).
Charlie responds "I'm so sorry(me) I did not think that you felt like this. I'm not avoiding you(me), I do appreciate you(me) and no! I'm not seeing anyone else(me). I've been so bogged down(me) at work lately, I've had to work longer hours and the stress is really getting to me. When I get home(me) I'm just so tired that I need a bit of time to myself. I don't(me) want to feel this way and I promise that from now on I'll call you every time I have to work late"
The Me / I technique is powerful because it reduces defensiveness, increases honesty and clarifies everyone's feelings. It is virtually impossible to aggravate someone using this technique.
In the given example the message was clearly communicated by both parties and that ultimately resolved the matter, without the need for a row or disagreement.
Good Me / I statements work best when they are delivered in the right way, in the right tone of voice and at the right time. So it may be best to wait a few minutes before speaking to ensure that the other person is listening.
* This passage was adapted from "Non Violent Communication" by Marshall P Rosenberg
Make a difference!
DAve
For example
"You must take the dishes out of the dishwasher before going to bed tonight otherwise we won't have any clean crockery for breakfast" - this simple statement implies that it is an order or command whereas the person making the statement views it as an easy to follow request that the dishwasher be emptied before bedtime.
Wouldn't it be far easier, clearer and less threatening to say something along the lines of -
"Before we go to bed tonight would you take the dishers out of the dishwasher for me please, so that we can have clean crockery at breakfast time?"
To put it a different way - in order to gain another person's attention the first goal should be to avoid jumping down their throat and making them defensive. This can be achieved by the use of the Me / I technique instead of using the word "you" all the time.
Here are some phrases that are guaranteed to "get up the other person's nose"
You are really inconsiderate
You are so selfish
You are acting like a child
You know what your problem is?
You're always running away
The use of "you" language provokes defensiveness. Using a "you" statement puts the speaker into the role of both judge and jury - a position the other party will most likely find unacceptable.
The Me / I technique allows for the communication of feelings about the other person's behaviour without being judgemental. This technique will allow a normal conversation with the other person without ever having to fight again, and it stops arguing completely.
The Me / I technique has 4 distinct parts
It describes the other person's behaviour
It details your interpretation of it
It describes your feelings towards the behaviour
It describes the consequences the behviour is having upon you
Here is a worked example of the technique in action. For the purposes of illustration I will call speaker 1 Diane and speaker 2 Charlie
Diane says " You've been coming home late all week now without calling me once (behaviour). Are you trying to avoid me, or are you seeing someone else (interpretation)? I'm starting to feel unattractive (me) and unappreciated. I'm (me)really hurting inside (feeling). If this keeps up I'm(me) going to go crazy worrying about you(consequence).
Charlie responds "I'm so sorry(me) I did not think that you felt like this. I'm not avoiding you(me), I do appreciate you(me) and no! I'm not seeing anyone else(me). I've been so bogged down(me) at work lately, I've had to work longer hours and the stress is really getting to me. When I get home(me) I'm just so tired that I need a bit of time to myself. I don't(me) want to feel this way and I promise that from now on I'll call you every time I have to work late"
The Me / I technique is powerful because it reduces defensiveness, increases honesty and clarifies everyone's feelings. It is virtually impossible to aggravate someone using this technique.
In the given example the message was clearly communicated by both parties and that ultimately resolved the matter, without the need for a row or disagreement.
Good Me / I statements work best when they are delivered in the right way, in the right tone of voice and at the right time. So it may be best to wait a few minutes before speaking to ensure that the other person is listening.
* This passage was adapted from "Non Violent Communication" by Marshall P Rosenberg
Make a difference!
DAve
Sunday 19 July 2009
Making Progress
Hi, a very short and sweet post, more a news item than anything else - the newest branch of the Altered Image practice, Changing Times has now started to gain momentum - we have secured a web domain www.changingtimes2.co.uk and I am now working furiously to produce the starter website. We have purchased a dedicated phone number, business cards and flyers have been produced and distribution has begun.
I am currently checking to see if I can add podcasts onto this page, so that you can listen to the content as well as read it - will keep you posted as that develops.
Take care and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
I am currently checking to see if I can add podcasts onto this page, so that you can listen to the content as well as read it - will keep you posted as that develops.
Take care and remember
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve
Tuesday 14 July 2009
Life Analysis project
Hi, I hope that you are creating a fantastic day for yourself right now, I know I am!
There are one or two people out there who come to me with problems in getting their life to balance and complaining that they are not making "progress", that they are stuck or static.
The Life Analysis project will go some way to putting things back into focus and help you to determine the actions that will kick start your life once again. As human beings we are really only satisfied and sense a feeling of fulfilment when we are making "progress". That is what makes us feel alive.
So here goes -
Take a pen and paper and write down your answers.
Ask yourself this question
"What am I putting up with in my life right now?"
Next answer this question
"What is wrong with my career; health; spiritual life; business; friendships; fun; family; finances?"
Now take your answers and score them on a 1-10 scale where 1 is the worst and 10 is the best.
Looking at each of the scores in turn work out what needs to happen to make that score into a 10.
Then ask yourself
"What steps can I take right now to move these scores nearer to a 10?"
Once you have determined the steps to take it is down to you and you alone to put them into action.
Notes
1. When performing this Analysis always see things as they really are, but not worse than they really are
2. Having done that see thing better than they are and set this as the standard you want to achieve
3. Be prepared to take MASSIVE ACTION to make the changes happen
4. And finally remember this key statement
"At any moment in time, I can learn something that I was not expecting to learn" - Tony Robbins.
Until the next time
Make a Difference!
DAve
Acknowledgement to Tony Robbins 2009
There are one or two people out there who come to me with problems in getting their life to balance and complaining that they are not making "progress", that they are stuck or static.
The Life Analysis project will go some way to putting things back into focus and help you to determine the actions that will kick start your life once again. As human beings we are really only satisfied and sense a feeling of fulfilment when we are making "progress". That is what makes us feel alive.
So here goes -
Take a pen and paper and write down your answers.
Ask yourself this question
"What am I putting up with in my life right now?"
Next answer this question
"What is wrong with my career; health; spiritual life; business; friendships; fun; family; finances?"
Now take your answers and score them on a 1-10 scale where 1 is the worst and 10 is the best.
Looking at each of the scores in turn work out what needs to happen to make that score into a 10.
Then ask yourself
"What steps can I take right now to move these scores nearer to a 10?"
Once you have determined the steps to take it is down to you and you alone to put them into action.
Notes
1. When performing this Analysis always see things as they really are, but not worse than they really are
2. Having done that see thing better than they are and set this as the standard you want to achieve
3. Be prepared to take MASSIVE ACTION to make the changes happen
4. And finally remember this key statement
"At any moment in time, I can learn something that I was not expecting to learn" - Tony Robbins.
Until the next time
Make a Difference!
DAve
Acknowledgement to Tony Robbins 2009
Thursday 9 July 2009
Should and Ought
For the past few years as I have progressed through my training and development as a Life / Personal Performance Coach I have begun to notice a trend in the type of people I work with. They all come to me displaying various problems, issues and ailments BUT without exception they all display the same trait..... they know that to move forwards in life they have to do certain things, but they continually use the phrases "I should" or "I ought to"
I am here to tell you that in most cases shoulds and oughts will NEVER get done! If you want to move forwards in this life and make progress those need to become "MUSTs"
Once you have a "must do" in your life the scene is set for progress.
I have spent a large proportion of my Coaching life talking to people about Goals and Goal Setting and because I believe in the maxim "practice what you preach" I have followed the paths towards my own personal goals in small manageable steps. Some of these steps have been preceded by the term "should" or "ought" - yes I too have been guilty of this error and sometimes I still am.
However, I am fortunate in so much that I am a self starter and can get things done despite the "should" thinking even though the progress may have been slower than if I had done these things as a "must"
Since I have shifted my awareness to counter this thinking and adopted a "must" attitude to most things, I have personally accomplished much much more in a shorter time.
A word of caution here though - beware of using the word "must" when talking to others, it can, if used carelessly, be a stepping stone towards disaster. If "must" is preceded by the word "you" then you have a 90% plus guarantee that you will get the other person's back up and they will become hostile towards you. In this situation it is far better to adopt the Me I method of communication (but more of this in a later posting)
So to return to the main theme and to summarise the content of this post -
Don't get fooled by "should" and "ought", they will make you feel happy and cushioned and are the keys to procrastination and being ineffective.
If progress is your goal, it really has to be a "must"
take care and CREATE A GREAT DAY
DAve.
I am here to tell you that in most cases shoulds and oughts will NEVER get done! If you want to move forwards in this life and make progress those need to become "MUSTs"
Once you have a "must do" in your life the scene is set for progress.
I have spent a large proportion of my Coaching life talking to people about Goals and Goal Setting and because I believe in the maxim "practice what you preach" I have followed the paths towards my own personal goals in small manageable steps. Some of these steps have been preceded by the term "should" or "ought" - yes I too have been guilty of this error and sometimes I still am.
However, I am fortunate in so much that I am a self starter and can get things done despite the "should" thinking even though the progress may have been slower than if I had done these things as a "must"
Since I have shifted my awareness to counter this thinking and adopted a "must" attitude to most things, I have personally accomplished much much more in a shorter time.
A word of caution here though - beware of using the word "must" when talking to others, it can, if used carelessly, be a stepping stone towards disaster. If "must" is preceded by the word "you" then you have a 90% plus guarantee that you will get the other person's back up and they will become hostile towards you. In this situation it is far better to adopt the Me I method of communication (but more of this in a later posting)
So to return to the main theme and to summarise the content of this post -
Don't get fooled by "should" and "ought", they will make you feel happy and cushioned and are the keys to procrastination and being ineffective.
If progress is your goal, it really has to be a "must"
take care and CREATE A GREAT DAY
DAve.
Sunday 5 July 2009
Sunday 5th July 2009
This is my first proper post on here, and I hope that this will set the base line for what goes on this page.
I will try to add at least 2 new posts each week and the plan is that they will be informative and beneficial.
Enjoy what I think are some very intersting tips for retaining a young outlook on life, as given by George Carlin,
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I will try to add at least 2 new posts each week and the plan is that they will be informative and beneficial.
Enjoy what I think are some very intersting tips for retaining a young outlook on life, as given by George Carlin,
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Friday 3 July 2009
Welcome to the Altered Image Blog
Hi
Thank you for stopping by and I hope that you will find this blog site interesting.
I will be adding a new post during the weekend.
DAve
Thank you for stopping by and I hope that you will find this blog site interesting.
I will be adding a new post during the weekend.
DAve
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