Should and Ought

For the past few years as I have progressed through my training and development as a Life / Personal Performance Coach I have begun to notice a trend in the type of people I work with. They all come to me displaying various problems, issues and ailments BUT without exception they all display the same trait..... they know that to move forwards in life they have to do certain things, but they continually use the phrases "I should" or "I ought to"

I am here to tell you that in most cases shoulds and oughts will NEVER get done! If you want to move forwards in this life and make progress those need to become "MUSTs"

Once you have a "must do" in your life the scene is set for progress.

I have spent a large proportion of my Coaching life talking to people about Goals and Goal Setting and because I believe in the maxim "practice what you preach" I have followed the paths towards my own personal goals in small manageable steps. Some of these steps have been preceded by the term "should" or "ought" - yes I too have been guilty of this error and sometimes I still am.

However, I am fortunate in so much that I am a self starter and can get things done despite the "should" thinking even though the progress may have been slower than if I had done these things as a "must"

Since I have shifted my awareness to counter this thinking and adopted a "must" attitude to most things, I have personally accomplished much much more in a shorter time.

A word of caution here though - beware of using the word "must" when talking to others, it can, if used carelessly, be a stepping stone towards disaster. If "must" is preceded by the word "you" then you have a 90% plus guarantee that you will get the other person's back up and they will become hostile towards you. In this situation it is far better to adopt the Me I method of communication (but more of this in a later posting)

So to return to the main theme and to summarise the content of this post -

Don't get fooled by "should" and "ought", they will make you feel happy and cushioned and are the keys to procrastination and being ineffective.

If progress is your goal, it really has to be a "must"

take care and CREATE A GREAT DAY

DAve.